OK, I've got one.
What if you could swap your head onto someone else's body?
My head on Jenny's body? Genius.
Would you let me have a go? From behind, obviously.
- Fuck off. - At least let me look at your arse.
If anybody looks at your arse, it's me. It's my birthday.
I thought we weren't mentioning your birthday.
Give that here.
You can't do that! It's symbolic! Look what it says.
"Young Person's Railcard."
- It's no use to you any more. - Aw!
You could still pass for 26...
- in a low light. - It's all downhill from now on.
You want to find someone while it's all still in working order.
- I had a girl last night. - Name?
- Maggie. - What does she do?
- Didn't ask. - Why not?
- You can't judge people on their job. - You can some people.
- She's funny and sexy. - Shagged her yet?
- No. - Seeing her again?
- Maybe. - Nice one.
OK, Maggie's head on Jenny's body or Jenny's head on Maggie's body?
Oh, Maggie's head on Jenny's body, definitely.
There's nothing wrong with Maggie's body
but I couldn't have Jenny bossing me about.
All right, children. Where are we going next?
It's my birthday so you have to do what I want.
Get off me!
Aaah!
How can someone so small have such a big arse?
Quite nice. I never noticed before.
Fuck off.
Aah!
Hang on a second. I want a souvenir.
Hiya, Maggie. You weren't in bed, were you?
I got you a present.
You'll need that.
'..picked up a women's magazine - as you do -
'and you know our favourite person, don't you?'
- Are you a strip-o-gram? - I'm a police officer.
I'm late. I've... gotta go.
♪ I wanna be like you
♪ Doing all the things you do
♪ You're tearing me apart with the clothes you wear
♪ And your eyes so fair
♪ Oh, no, I can't take you anywhere
♪ I wanna be like you
♪ I'll treat you like you want me to
♪ Then maybe we could do the things that we would like to do
♪ But I just can't get a hold of you
♪ I wanna be like you... ♪
You're late. You've missed the weekly meeting.
What's going on?
One of the little shits broke in.
They've not taken anything,
except another lump out of Jenny's sense of humour.
Fuck. Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Good morning, Bob.
Can you get rabies from a sheep bite?
You wanna watch that. They may use it for forensic evidence.
Will you two shut up?
You really do look like shit.
I'll be fine after you make me a coffee.
- I'll have one too. - Tea, please.
Of course. I have tits. I'm better qualified.
You haven't got time anyway.
I'll drink it in class. Two sugars.
Isn't it a coincidence that Angie's off sick
every time she has 8F?
Never had the pleasure.
Thick as shit but they're quite entertaining.
Find out if she suspects anything.
Jenny!
Did you have a good weekend?
Only because the promise of this stimulating exchange got me through it.
No need to ask what you did last night.
Oh, fuck, she knows.
No she doesn't. You just stink of booze.
Look at the buttocks on that one.
Er, no, no, no. No.
- I'm sorry? - Will you tell her or shall I?
- Tell me what? - School's a no-smoking building.
Clare's new rule.
Ha ha ha!
- You'll be grateful in the end. - Who the fuck asked you?
Has no one ever told you smoking's not big or clever?
Yes, it is. What about our smoking room?
She'll rename it, I suppose. Just call it "room"!
Susan.
Susan. Would you mind taking 8F? Angie's sick again.
They're quite entertaining.
Bunch of retards.
- Good luck, Susan. - Good luck, Susan.
Simon!
Well, scum...
- Good weekend, Simon? - Not bad at all. Leave that till break.
Party on Friday, film on Saturday, birthday yesterday.
- Happy birthday, sir. - Thank you. Anybody not here?
Me!
Have you marked our English essays yet, sir?
- I told you it was my birthday. - How old?
None of your business. Come on...
somebody cheer me up.
My mum said she'd give you one.
That's very generous but I've never seen her.
You have. She whistled at you on Friday.
- Your mother? - She's single if you're keen.
- That was your mother? - How come you're not married?
I'm way too young.
What?
Come on, Jeremy.
Bob's always got Valium if you're desperate.
My year 12s can get you smack if you threaten to suspend them.
A cigarette'd do, thank you.
But you'd have to inject it because smoking's banned.
I fancy Pauline Young's mother.
That's how old I am. I've started fancying kids' mothers.
Another ten years, you'll be looking at the girls again.
Why do I fancy the most inappropriate people?
You've just met a girl you like.
Nah, I've decided not to bother.
She's got two arms and two legs, ain't she?
Yeah, but I don't think I'm ready for a girlfriend.
I wanna keep my options open for a bit.
What options? Oh, yeah, I forgot, they're queuing for you.
I meet women, women who fancy me... sometimes.
Course you do.
Simon, a friend here wants you.
Says no one else will do.
If it's another suicide attempt, tell him to try harder.
Outside, now.
I don't even smoke.
Over there.
- Fucking hell! - I didn't do anything.
- Teddy. What the fuck was it? - It was his idea.
- What was? - The tattoo.
- Daniel? - He wanted us to do Daniela.
Daniela Parkhurst?
Couldn't he have just done her initials?
It was OK until we got to the "L".
I mean we had to dig around a bit but the blood just...
and Teddy just...
- I'm gonna have to tell Page. - Don't, Simon. Please.
♪ Pack up your troubles now
♪ Take all you can carry
♪ On your way, your way
♪ Just remember this time, you know
♪ You've only got seven days ♪
The point is, you can't help who you fancy.
The most unlikely person can pop up
and before you know it, you think about them all the time.
Like Romeo and Juliet.
They were compelled to love each other even when everybody said it was wrong.
You can't choose who you fall for.
- Didn't need to kill themselves over it. - All they ever wanted was to be together.
They passionately believed in what they had.
- This was their ultimate dream. - They would've got over it.
They wanted to do things their own way.
The more they were forbidden, the more they fought for it.
Have you never felt the urge to rebel?
Miss Page's class is just reading the text.
- There's time for that. - I'm only saying...
There must be something you've always wanted,
something you've dreamed of with passion
that nobody could take from you?
Something you'd sacrifice everything for?
I would quite like to play for Bristol City.
You are one very sad individual.
How about owning Man United?
All right! I'd quite like to have sex with Ryan Giggs.
That's more like it!
I'll throw in all of the first team since you asked so nicely.
Can I interest anyone in the Australian women's beach volleyball squad?
I want you to teach me all of my classes.
I want you to be headmaster.
In fact, I want to be you, Simon.
You are the best teacher ever.
Much better than that frigid teaching machine next door.
Mind you, she has got a nice arse.
Simon! Simon! Simon!
Can you make some more noise?
Only my class is finding it too easy to concentrate.
Don't worry. She talks to us like that too.
Oh, man, I'm fucking...
No need to rush!
Come on, slow it down.
Bye, sir. Thank you.
Could you undermine me a bit more? Only I don't feel enough of a twat yet.
Grow up. Oh, and if you know where Shakespeare's head is,
I'd like it back please.
If it's not too much trouble.
- She definitely knows. - Who knows what?
Jenny. She knows it was us. Well, me.
She's power mad and hates me and now she'll get me sacked.
It was childish but hardly a sackable offence.
If you like, I'll apologise to her for all of us.
No, then she will know it was me.
She'll hold it over me forever. You know what she's like.
What is your obsession with Jenny?
I'm not obsessed. She's obsessed with me.
Let's pub.
Did somebody call for me?
My dad's got a client he wants to impress so I said I'd cook dinner for him.
And that's going to impress?
Fuck it. I'll come for one.
I'm just wondering why Teddy Randall left school early?
I think he said he had an orthodontal appointment.
Mm. Well, make sure Liz gets his slip.
Why do you have to lie all the time?
Sorry to interrupt but your leader wishes it to be known
she's moving your directive time to the end of every Friday.
- Oh, for fuck's sake! - I'm only the messenger.
Liz has got kids. Does that mean you fancy her?
- Your serve, quick. - No way. Not now.
- You have to. Jenny! - Oh, for fuck's sake.
Simon wants you.
Er, we're all going to the pub. Do you fancy one?
That'd be lovely. But I'd rather nail my head to the table.
Fair enough.
Two metres' unobstructed view.
Tremendous.
Well played.
Jenny!
It's all right. I'll ask you another time.
♪ I guess I'm all right
♪ Guess I'm all right
♪ I guess I'm doing fine
♪ Guess I'm doing fine
♪ Do you think I miss you?
♪ Do you think I care?
♪ Do you think I'd lay down and die?
♪ You never even tried... ♪
Where the fuck have you been?
- Union meeting. - In the pub?
I'm here now. Just as well by the looks of it.
You are an unreliable, untrustworthy shit!
You obviously don't need my help, then.
Hi, come in. Hi. How's it going?
- Marcella, this is Simon. - Hi.
♪ So fly on swift now
♪ On your journey home
♪ And you've fled the nest now and you have flown... ♪
- Hiya. - Hi.
- I just got you some dips. - Fantastic.
♪ Ain't nothing you don't know... ♪
Would you like a touch more wine?
Fabulous. Thanks.
♪ I guess I'm all right
♪ Guess I'm all right
♪ I guess I'm doing fine
♪ Guess I'm doing fine... ♪
Mm. That was fantastic.
Thanks.
Brandy!
It's nice to meet you at last.
Yeah. You too.
- I'm sure it won't be the last time. - Great.
Great. How about next weekend maybe?
If you're busy, maybe not. The weekend after would be...
- Couldn't you find it? - It's a good time to mention that thing.
Right. The thing.
The brandy's under the stairs with the rest of the booze.
What? Yes, I know. It's just that we're getting married.
What? Who?
Marcella and me. I and Marcella. Marcella and I!
Brilliant!
Oh, fuck off!
Oh, yes, Marcella!
Oh, God!
Surprise.
Not really. Erm, are you entirely nocturnal?
I just felt a sudden impulse.
Ooh!
Perfect.
You know where the sofa is.
So how was the sofa?
- Short and hard. - I bought it specially.
Right, well... I'm going to work.
See you again maybe.
It doesn't surprise me. He's an attractive man.
Don't be ridiculous! He's my dad!
So he's not allowed a libido?
Not one I have to listen to.
That's not the point. I made a pass at my new mother.
Doing Oedipus now, are we?
So you're jealous of him.
No, I'm not. I was only being... friendly.
Sounds like a classic case of denial.
Bollocks is it. He's just met her. He doesn't have to marry her.
So it's YOUR commitment phobia we're dealing with.
You're projecting your fears onto your dad.
It's not that complex. It's a mistake. She's too young for him.
But not too old for you? Is this where your older woman fetish is from?
I do not have a thing about older women.
Well, it's one of three things.
One, you're jealous of your dad.
Two, you're having trouble coming to terms
with the fact that you fancy older women.
Or three, and probably most likely,
you're disturbed that you no longer see these women as older,
which means you see yourself as a similar age to them,
and that frightens you and makes you act like a teenager.
You're a teacher, not a therapist.
- I teach psychology. - To 16-year-olds.
Oh, God.
I need those essay marks today, Simon.
I've done them. I'll bring them to you later.
- Oh, God. - I need your department averages.
I've done them. I'll bring them to you later.
Teddy Randall's mother's just been on the phone.
It seems he tried tattooing himself yesterday
and ended up in casualty with a septic arm.
I'm sure this could've been avoided
had he got proper medical attention in school.
It's not good for parents to think we can't control students.
So in future, any accidents should be reported immediately
to the year heads.
The upshot of all this is I want to ban tattooing
and insist that all nose, eyebrow, lip and tongue rings
are removed in school.
As soon as possible, please.
You covered for a kid who carved up his own arm?
He was just messing about. We all did it.
- I didn't. - I did.
Well, I pierced my ear, but I did it myself.
- Why didn't you tell me about Teddy? - Why do you think?
- He's in my group, my responsibility. - Me, me, me!
- He didn't want me to tell you. - Whatever the students want
I won't stop them expressing themselves.
Next time you want to encourage a child to risk their health,
discuss it with me first.
I may only be acting year head
but at least I could show you where the hospital is.
You do know you're making a dick of yourself?
Don't look at me like that. It's your rule.
If I'm being a dickhead, it's because she makes me behave like one.
- She brings out the worst in me. - You fancy her.
I do not! I couldn't. No way!
It's not just age, it's women in authority you have a thing for.
- Does Clare do it for you as well? - Oh, I'm going to be sick.
It all makes sense -
your new mum, Pauline Young's mother,
Jenny and I bet Maggie fits in there somehow.
Bollocks.
You'd be a lot happier if you'd admit
you identify with them because you have a lot in common.
- But I don't want to. - You're like one of the kids.
That's why they like me.
You're meant to be a reliable adult role model.
You're meant to be nice to me. That's what you're for.
I am being nice to you.
In this case, being nice to you means pointing out you're being a tosser.
Ow!
Be quiet.
QUIET!
It's school policy, so come on, take 'em off.
Take 'em off!
I mean it, Pauline.
Is there any chance of those essays yet?
What is your big hurry?
I'm worried you're getting left behind.
We should be on the next assignment.
I'm not giving them out now. I have a different plan for today.
Turn to act 3, scene 2. Tanya, read the soliloquy.
- The what? - The big speech.
Oi!
Time of the month, Simon?
It's important. There's exam questions on this bit.
- Is this all we're gonna do? - It's what we're meant to do.
Tanya.
Pauline!
- What was that? - Where?
Here. Don't arse me about. What's going on?
Oh, it's about that new rule. Cheryl said I should tell you.
- Tell me what? - Just that I have a pierced nipple.
That's against school policy.
What, are you gonna make me take it out?
No, but just don't go getting any other... things done.
I'm getting a tattoo next week. You wanna see where?
What is it? Shall I get the paramedics?
No, no. I just realised it was lunchtime and I'm hungry.
Are... are you?
- Don't do that again! - What?
Chewing gum in class. Can you believe that?
Barely.
I hope you'll be keeping me behind
for a private session again tomorrow... Simon.
She doesn't mean... I wouldn't dream of...
Don't worry. I don't believe there's a chance of anyone,
let alone a student, succumbing to your charms.
- Oh, God! - You said today, Simon.
I've done them but I left them at home. Tomorrow, I promise.
If only life was a little less predictable, eh?
- Have you lost them? - No, they are at home.
- That was the truth? - Yes, but I haven't marked them.
He only wants numbers. Just make 'em up.
No, I want to do it right.
Weird.
- It's all your fault. - What now?
You give your cod psychology to me and I teach by the book.
The kids hate me and aren't taking any notice of what I say.
- Welcome to my world. - It's stick and carrot.
Shut up for half the lesson, look at Celebrity Arses website the other half.
- That kind of thing. - That's useful.
You have to show them who's in charge. You're the grown-up.
Huh!
All right, you're the one with the degree.
Once they realise you won't take any shit, they'll respect you.
Kids need to know where the boundaries are.
- You're right. - Taking advice from a PE teacher?
Carol or Liz?
And death is not an option.
Well, Liz has a certain maturity
but Carol, I have to say, does have an appealing wildness
about the eyes.
More glad tidings to impart from the offices of Mrs Hunter.
As from today, teachers are no longer allowed to smoke anywhere
on school premises.
Don't want to give our students confusing signals, do we...
Susan?
Pauline. Pauline, I need a word.
- Yeah, what? - In private.
- Come on. - Whoo!
Stand there.
- You were well out of order earlier! - What did I do?
Saying that in front of Miss Page and that... skirt business.
So why did you cover for me?
You could get us both in the shit. And you're too young for a tattoo.
- That's none of your business. - It is now you told me. It's a mistake.
Yeah. Well, I'm really gonna take advice from you.
- I could send you to see Mrs Hunter. - Go on then.
I am the adult here. I'm the one with the degree! I'm telling you, don't do it!
Oh, fuck off.
Well, I don't trust anybody who smiles as much as Clare does.
She's very good at giving the illusion of democracy
but she doesn't fool me. God, no!
We're not teachers any more.
I prefer how it used to be when teachers knew stuff
and they had to educate kids.
Now the stuff keeps getting changed.
Nobody knows who knows what any more.
Can we please talk about sex or football?
Maybe I never had control.
They don't respect me any more. Maybe they never did.
Who doesn't respect you now?
Pauline "Oh, fuck off" Young.
OK, Pauline "Oh, fuck off" Young or Nicola Coleman?
Who's Nicola Coleman?
Nicola "It's glandular" Coleman. Fat girl, year 12.
I can't do this now. I've got books to mark.
♪ One and eight make nine
♪ It could be set in stone
♪ Cos I'm bad to the bones
♪ And you're flat out of time
♪ Can you show me a sign? ♪
- Want a drink? - I've got work to do.
- Everything all right? - Why wouldn't it be?
I suppose this all must seem sudden.
You've not had a woman for years and the first...
She's not the first. I don't have to tell you everything.
But you don't tell me anything.
I was... We were...
concerned that people might disapprove.
We haven't been together very long.
- And there are other factors. - What?
Marcella's daughter. Your new...
Sister. Perfect.
- She's four. - So you'll have a wife and a baby.
- It's called commitment but... - Here we go!
If you don't know what to do with your life, that's your problem! I do!
Sorry. Should I come back later?
I'm going out.
♪ One and four make five... ♪
- Your shout. - You get 'em in.
I need these done for yesterday.
Do you mind? This is our place for fun and recreation.
I thought it would be a supportive atmosphere.
- You've got nowhere else to go. - And you have?
Let me see. I have a lovely house I share with my lovely husband.
Me too.
Talk amongst yourselves. I'm trying my best here!
Did I tell you? Jenny came to see me.
She was really upset about the sheep.
Yeah, Liz said that Jenny said that Clare said
she's positive it's Simon.
But until the forensics come back, there's no proof.
Then Jenny said part of the reason she was so upset
was that she had always thought she and Simon...
OK, I give in! But you gotta help me finish these.
- How much? - Half a pint a book.
Fuck it, make it a C+, his writing's neat.
- How can you give that an A? - He's great. He gets right in there.
But he can't write a coherent sentence.
- I'm teaching them to think. - Not healthy.
Finally, Pauline "Oh, fuck off" Young. C-.
Bitch. Make it a D.
Glad to see you haven't lost your objectivity.
- So, this'll be the new you, will it? - How do you mean?
The new "I'm gonna grow up and be a good role model" you.
Yeah, it wasn't working. I'm better the way I was.
- See you tomorrow. - Good night.
Good night. Night.
Where do you think you're going?
I don't want to listen to my dad shagging.
Can I stay with you and Peter?
No. Good night.
Lads?
No!
Oh...
it's you.
You can't keep turning up at night when you've nowhere else to go.
I don't. I'm here because I want to be.
- I wanted to see you again. - Why?
It's just...
Well, I haven't seen you for a bit... Cheers.
And I haven't got your phone number and I...
I like you.
- You came round for a shag? - No.
- Oh. So you came for a chat? - Yeah.
Go on, then.
So, er... how are the latest crime statistics?
Obviously, being a police officer, I wouldn't be interested in anything else.
At midnight.
Is there a reason why you only turn up at night
when I'm not in my uniform?
Are you on the Most Wanted list or do you have a problem with my job?
- I haven't got a problem... - Out of interest, what do you do?
I'm a...
I work in a school.
- I'm a teacher. - Oh, you... rebel.
- You anarchist. - All right.
What's the difference between us?
We both tell people what to do, except yours are smaller.
- I don't do that. - You do if you do it right.
- Teaching's not about bossing people. - Oh, bless.
- Can I sleep on your sofa? - No. Look, Simon.
You're really nice but I'm not even sure I want a relationship,
particularly not with someone with such bizarre behaviour.
- Neither do I. - Good.
Fuck off home, then.
Aaah!
Surely you can see that this is just embarrassing.
Are you doing Treasure Island or just having a mid-life crisis?
I fucking hate her!
She's such a narrow-minded, conformist little careerist
and she's SO mature.
What an insult. You know why you get so worked up about her.
- Not this again. - A psychological principal.
There's a very thin line between love and hate.
You're sick.
Hey, hey, hey! It's Shane Ritchie!
My God, is it 1992 already?
Leave me alone. I like it.
- Well, you're the only one. - I don't give a shit.
- Who marked these, Simon? - Who do you think?
- It's not your handwriting. - Is it a good mark?
- A*. - B-.
It'll be a lot less if you don't shut up!
Forget what I said about the tattoo. Do what makes you happy.
Right, clear a space. Desks against the wall. We need room.
- Who wants to be Romeo? - Me! Me!
Anybody who wants to be bored shitless can go next door and see Miss Page.
Simon!
Last chance.
You're not going to believe this...
All present and correct.
- But very late. - They're done now.
Why is everything a battle with you?
- Have you noticed? It's hell... - Oh, Jenny...
Word has it you think my classes are boring.
I never said anything. Did I?
You'd never have shouted that out in front of your class.
Right. That's not exactly what I said. I was just comparing how we teach.
Never discuss me or any other teacher with your class again!
Don't talk to me like a student!
I'll talk to you how I please if you question my professionalism.
Not that you're in any position to comment on that!
What's that supposed to mean?
While you play at being a teacher, others do it properly.
Maybe I don't get turned on ticking boxes but I teach them in a way they like.
- It's not meant to be entertainment! - Not in your class.
- Who the fuck do you think you are? - I try to be on their wavelength.
So that's why the pathetic act of defiance.
At least I'm not a cold, miserable, uptight bitch!
Go on. Get it off your puffed-up chest. What's really on your mind?
I really wanna sleep with you.
Oh, what the hell. I really wanna sleep with you.
That's useful to know.
Aah!
What are you doing?
If this is a cry for help, forget it.
I'm beyond help. I had a fight with Jenny and said something I shouldn't have.
It's your fault because you gave me the idea.
- What did you say to her? - What do you think?
You didn't?
Simon, you never take any notice of anything I say.
- What's the matter with you? - I'm confused.
- About Jenny? - No, about everything.
- Is this a mid-life crisis? - You're 27.
I might only live till I'm 54.
Look, you've had a birthday and you're a bit wobbly.
You're living with your dad, doing a job you're not sure about
and your emotional life's a disaster.
When you put it like that, why do I worry?
You run about from crisis to crisis
without thinking about the bigger picture.
So what do you suggest?
If you're fed up, you could look for a flat though I suspect it rather suits you.
Your job - you're probably better off not listening to me
and getting on with it.
But your love life, that's obvious.
You're flitting about from woman to woman acting like a dickhead.
Ow!
But where do you end up every night? Think about it.
Don't worry, we weren't smoking. We just nipped in for a quick shag.
Oh, my God.
- I've never seen you in daylight before. - I've never seen you sober before.
I mean, I've never been sober when I've seen you before.
So what do you want?
I wanted to come round once more just to show you I can be normal.
And I'm not only interested when I've got nowhere else to go.
- And I don't care you're a policewoman. - Officer.
Officer. And I know you're not interested in a relationship
but neither am I
so I thought maybe we could both not have a relationship...
with each other.
Together.
I think I preferred you pissed.
It can be arranged.
- Do you wanna come in? - Only if you want me to.
- I just said. - I won't be a nuisance?
Oh, shut up now before I change my mind.
- Did you nick that? - Eh?
Joke.
Ooh.
- So can I stay the night? - Yes.
I'm on nights, though, so I'll see you in the morning, OK?
♪ Today is gonna be the day
♪ When I won't wanna see... ♪
♪ Everybody's reeling, everybody's feeling
♪ Lonely ♪
'Hi, this is Maggie. Leave a message.'
'Er, Simon, it's me.
'I'm running late and if you're still there, you're running late.
'Oh, and er... stop poking round my stuff.'
- Did you tell her about the sheep? - Sorry, what?
Everyone's talking about your fight with Jenny.
- I heard you told her to go fuck herself. - No, I just said what I think of her.
- Buttocks? - I said she had to sort herself out.
She can't go on like a teaching machine.
- How did she take it? - In the spirit it was intended.
So it's over and done with. Air cleared.
You, you and you.
Hand them over.
Stupid.
- Tosser. - Evan Maggs, see me after lunch.
We lost on penalties in the semi-final.
If you look hard enough, you'll find someone who gives a shit.
Janey Collins missed one.
Janey who had anorexia?
Stupid fat fuck.
You came all the way out here just to tell us that?
No. Boss wants to see you. Urgent.
You might as well tell me. I'll find out later anyway.
Whatever it is, she's fucking furious!
I'm not worried. I've done nothing wrong.
I can relate to the students directly.
I have a talent for it.
I can understand how they think and how they feel
and how their imaginations work.
I like it
and they like it.
Maybe it's because I'm closer to them than to either of you
and your conservative little lives but I'm doing this my way.
And if you don't like it...
you know what you can do about it.
Have neither of you got anything to say?
I don't know what's going on between you two
but outbursts like that should never happen in public.
This must have a personal dimension
which is spilling into your work and that makes it my concern.
Has anything happened that could affect your working relationship?
Er... well... I...
Nothing of any significance.
This doesn't have anything to do with that...
sheep incident, does it?
We disagree on teaching methods.
Well, your record is consistently good, Jenny.
And yours, Simon, is...
well, consistent.
So... what's the problem?
His methods are obstructive to my classes.
I think we should do more stuff that's interesting.
You're paid to teach the syllabus to the best of your ability, Simon.
I want to use your energy, I do,
but you're not in a position to do anything except...
get on with it.
And next time you feel the need to brawl in public,
do it in your own time.
Both of you.
Thank you.
I thought we were in for a right bollocking!
It all flows right over you!
Don't take it so seriously. It could've been worse.
Yes. Maybe next time, I'll tell her what you actually said.
I didn't really mean it. It was the heat of the moment.
You are a self-centred, egotistical liar
with your head up your arse and your brains in your dick!
But I don't really mean it. Heat of the moment.